and hopes youre at the other side, talking to me too. or am i a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon

second week begun. things just dont stop squeezing my brain. a lot of shits happening lately yaw. nothing much i can say only hope that it'll get better soon. like people say, life aint easy. shit happens, roll on with it. well, i took it in a different way. i feel like i gotta clean it up instead of leaving it to other people. eventhough its not mine, but i feel like cleaning it. all i can say is that, i just do what people say to me. this week, i .. i .. i dont know how to say it. it seems hard for me to say it. first, my ex went into hospital in singapore having this heart operation. i hope she's aite. ive been praying to God for her survival. having her beside me as a friend would complete my fight to accomplishment. secondly, well, i just had to be a stubborn head, and losing friends is the result. i should think more next time. and nw, where am i ? here alone, doing nothing. might as well thinking of writing my will already :S. easy to say, its not the best week for me or i could say not the best YEAR for me. eventhough, there were a lot of things that happen for the past few months, i just feel like, i did the biggest mistake when i got the chance to do it right. now, im stucked. no more lifeline. this is it. no more chances given, i just gotta do this right. this one bullet, i'll save it for the perfect shot towards the target. the bullseye. the goal to achievement. my 2nd trimester result wasnt that impressive, therefore, ive decided to do an extra semester. i need to improve one of the subject i took last sem and do it better next semester. 


next week is the 3rd of week of the semester. not much time left. i need to do 6 papers for my final exams. 4 officials, 2 supplementary. now the only thing's that playing in my head is to get a 3.0 for this semester. thats all im thinking. 5 days of revision, 2 days of rest. thats what im planning. no more mr i-love-to-play-around anymore. like i said, this is it. my one and only shot. 


and to those people, who i hope the one i hurt would read this. i am deeply sorry for my attitude, my ego, my bad tempered, my jealousy towards you people. its a human nature for this to stuck in my head. all i can do is just try to kick them out of myself. i pray, beg to God for one day all of this bad things will actually fly away and vanished into thin air. dont want it to attacked other people. to YOU, im sorry for not respecting you as a person, i admit. i was wrong. i tried to talk to you, but you ran away from me. i wanna call, but im afraid. but i got balls to write it here saying im so sorry for what i've done :'(. forgive me dear friend. and to YOU, sorry for ditching you. not even a single text or call asking your condition or whatsoever. seeing you yesterday, eventhough for a second, made me happy already. eventhough without any conversation, but it surely makes me happy :'). All i hope now is just to have fun with your life. im a bad person, i know and i dont think i deserve a place, even the hundreth in your friendlist. all i want is a forgiveness and thats all. i can walkaway with peace. no need to fight, cz i dont like fighting. everynight im talking to moon, still trying to get to you and hopes youre at the other side, talking to me too. this is what always come out when i think about you. its actually a lyric from a song; talking to the moon. im not that creative hehe ;)


even in deep problem, theres always a light that shines for me. no matter how pitch black it is, the light's just too bright. always there for me when i need em. to YOU, thanks for being there for me. appreciate it so much <3


oh well, the summary of this week is:

1. i broke up with my girlfriend, but we're still friends. 
2. got my mood to study again
3. twisted my neck a lil, and an egg size bruise on my head because of futsal
4. losing .. (youknowwhat)
5. addicted to bruno mars
6. 'woofy' had his first shower.
7. saving money slowly
8. More and more and more love to Allah S.W.T <3 <3 <3
9. eat and sleep
10. cleaning the house. grandmas coming back and i thrashed her house. gotta clean it up ASAP :S

thats all i think. till then 


sincerely,
Frankhobo a.k.a farhanoo ;)