the truth

Hmm, I am currently dead tired this week. I dont think Im me this week. Its not me seriously. Wheres the old Farhan ? Something's just not right. I dont normally act this way. What just happen ? When ? Why ? How ? I dont know how to answer it. Everyday, before I go to sleep, this kind of question always play in my mind and I can figure it out easily but not for this case. There's a torn somewhere in my life. Need to sew it ASAP. If not, it'll get bigger and that aint gonna look nice. All of a sudden, I remember what my mum said to me before she left me. "You're a big boy now. Be mature eventhough you're young. Don't let other people bully you. Show that you can do it. PRAY always. Don't forget to study. Make us proud. You're the first person in the family to enter into university at 17. Dad had sacrifice a lot for you." This words that came out of my mum's mouth always made me cried everytime I remember about it. The thing that made me cried the most was MAKE US PROUD. I tried this thing whole lots of time already. But it seems that Allah is trying to make me work harder in order for me to achieve it. sigh ~~~ Plus with the situation I'm in now, I don't think I can do it anymore. Why ? because of this few things that just can't get away from me since I was born. LAZINESS, JEALOUSY, SHOWING OFF, HIGH TEMPERED, LACK OF CONCENTRATION . This ain't me. I need to get this away from me. Now I know why people always hated me. So guys, whoever reads this, I want you guys to be totally honest with me now. You can inbox me on FB or MS or MSN me. Please tell me. Have I ever hurt you ? Have I been so rude to you ?

From your view, maybe I can try to improve myself to be better man. Please help me if I can't. Correct me for every error I do. Who knows it maybe the last time I ask for you people help :) . Yeah, I think too much isnt it. Maybe theres a light behind all these darkness. I wanna go to that light. I wanna be a better person. For now that's my aim. To CHANGE. Startinng from tomorrow, no more playing around. Concentrate, since I'm running out of time already. So guys I want to ask you to pray for me so that I can be a better person. Oh yeah, if you guys read this, please have response. Privately is better. So thats all for now I think. Till then guys. Have fun :)

Honestly,

Farhan